


We'll Bring The New Rain

by scarredsodeep



Category: AFI
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parental Abuse, Physical Abuse, There is also some angsty boy punching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-03
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-05 00:05:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3097559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarredsodeep/pseuds/scarredsodeep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just another high school fic... Jade moves to Ukiah. There he meets the very nice Adam, and the glorious Davey, whom he knows only as 'God'. After God uses and humiliates him, Jade re-evaluates his new (and old) life. Meanwhile, Adam is finally coming to terms with both his own sexuality and the way he's been feeling ever since Jade moved to Ukiah... R for language and the slightest hint of smut. Originally published 2006.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Day

“Jade, sweetheart, could you take Gibson this morning? I’m going to be late for work as it is,” a flustered Cathy Puget called upstairs to her teenage son.

“No! He’s sticky!” Jade yelped back, looking reproachfully at the syrup-covered six-year-old currently running laps through his bedroom, weaving through the stacks of unpacked boxes. Jade glanced nervously into his mirror again. It was his first day at Ukiah High. He wasn’t a freshman- rather, it had been midway through his junior year when they’d moved away from Berkeley. The house here was bigger, his father’s income larger, his mother’s commute shorter- but none of that mattered if he didn’t make any friends. He didn’t need many; he just wanted desperately not to be made fun of. What were kids like here? What if they were more accepting at city schools than they were here?

“So wash him off!” Mrs. Puget yelled upstairs.

“How long are you planning to stare at yourself?” Jade’s other brother, Smith, asked, bored, strolling into Jade’s room and flopping down on his bed. Smith, an eighth grader, was not the least bit concerned about fitting in. He had a fauxhawk, an earring, and a skateboard at fourteen- he would instantly be the most bad-ass kid at the junior high. Besides that, Jade suspected he was fearless. “Some of us have to get to school.”

Smudging his eyeliner with his pinky for effect, Jade jingled his keys at Smith. “Wash Gibson off and we’ll go,” Jade ordered.

“Hurry up, Jade!” Smith shouted, storming out of Jade’s room, Gibson in tow. The first grader was screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Have a good day at school!” their mother yelled into the chaos, slamming the door on her way out.

Jade straightened his black t-shirt and rotated the two hoops dangling from his ear. He’d never been so nervous in his life.

 



 

“Get out your homework and turn to page 336,” the teacher was droning when Jade walked in, 15 minutes late. Gibson had decided to throw a tantrum when they’d dropped him off, and then Jade had gotten lost on the way to Mr. Moore’s first period U.S. History class.

He could tell immediately that he had chosen the wrong class to be late to. Mr. Moore was thin and severe-looking, a hooked nose and a stiff grey comb-over. He was wearing a sweater vest and thick wire-rimmed glasses. He had a meticulous voice and immaculate fingernails.

“And this young man who couldn’t be bothered to show up on time must be Mr. Puget,” he said coldly, turning away from the chalkboard glaring. “What a wonderful fashion in which to enter enrollment at this academy,” he added cruelly, eyebrows raised and smirking slightly.

Jade felt his whole face flush and he mumbled regretfully, “I’m really sorry-”

“Let me guess,” the man sneered. “You got lost.”

Jade’s blush deepened and he felt his throat tightening. This man was trying to humiliate him, and he hadn’t even done anything! Suddenly, furiously, his embarrassment turned into venom. “Is that really so hard to believe?” he spat. “It is my first day.”

The man looked slightly taken aback by the violent change in the boy’s demeanor. “I’m Mr. Moore,” he said more gently, clearly ruffled. “Please do not be late to my class again. I take it as a sign of disrespect.”

“I assure you that that was not my intent, sir,” Jade shot back coldly.

Put even further off his ease by a student who refused to be intimidated, Mr. Moore nodded briskly. “Take a seat, Mr. Puget. We’ve just started chapter thirteen…”  
Feeling a sudden rush of elation, Jade sunk gratefully into the closest vacant desk. Not only had he somehow escaped humiliation, a few kids were looking at him with awe. The tall brown-haired boy sitting next to him even leaned over to whisper, “I can’t believe you just talked down Moore. This guy’s a fucking Nazi.”

“I had to drop my little brothers off on my way to school,” Jade hissed back. “It’s not like I was late on purpose. …I’m Jade,” he added, glancing at the other boy.

A relaxed smile was spread across his face, his eyes deep and kind. His hands were large and his nose was crooked, but his smile lit up his whole face. He was wearing a black shirt emblazoned with the Jolly Roger and didn’t seem to find Jade’s appearance at all alarming.

“Adam,” he whispered back. “You wanna borrow some paper? Moore gives us notes like crazy.”

Taking a sheet of looseleaf paper and pulling out a pen, Jade grinned. He wasn’t about to forgive his parents for forcing him to move or anything rash like that, but he was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, Ukiah wouldn’t be so bad.



 

He was wrong, of course. He was late to three more classes, his elderly English teacher called him Dane throughout the period, and when he was walking to lunch he distinctly heard someone whisper the word ‘faggot’. Worse, the friendly Adam wasn’t in a single other one of his classes. No one even spoke to him second and third periods, and he didn’t build up the courage to introduce himself to a stranger till fourth period chemistry.

He was inspired to speak in physics because God was in that class. He wanted to look happy and personable and interesting and friendly. God’s smile lit up the entire room, his eyes sparkled, and his laugh made Jade feel like he was floating. God had thick black hair, a Queen t-shirt, and a lip piercing.

Jade did not speak to God. He decided he would work up to God. Instead he found an unthreatening-looking girl (he found girls to be more approachable than gods in general), flashed his best grin, and said, “Hi. I’m Jade.”

She was pretty in the unoriginal way: brown hair, small nose, smooth lips, and wide blue eyes. She smiled warmly at Jade and put down her book. The book was the reason Jade had chosen her. Anyone reading The Great Gatsby, he reasoned, deserved a reprieve.

“I’m Catrina,” the girl said pleasantly, setting down the book Jade had despised since freshman English none too hesitantly. “Are you new here?”

“Fresh from Berkeley,” laughed Jade, relieved that she was as friendly as he’d hoped she’d be. “You’re the first person all morning who’s talked to me. I thought small towns were supposed to be friendlier.”

Catrina rolled her eyes. “Well, they aren’t. I moved from San Fran two years ago and learned that the hard way. You’ve got to work hard to make friends here.”

Jade nodded. “I’ve noticed,” he agreed heartily. “So are you reading Gatsby for pleasure, or is that a staple of junior English here?”

Catrina wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know who would read this book for pleasure. I hate it.”

Jade nodded. “Me too. I had to read it at my old school. I’d rather get the flu than read it again.”

“Trina, who’s this?” a blond girl asked eagerly, approaching Catrina’s desk and letting her eyes travel the length of Jade’s body shamelessly.

“Erica, this is Jade. Jade, this is Erica,” Catrina explained, rolling her eyes as Erica pretended she wasn’t staring at Jade.

“Ooh, you’re the one from Mr. Moore’s class,” Erica oozed. “No one’s ever talked to him like that before, we were all so impressed by the way you stood up for yourself… if you want help getting caught up, I’d be happy to go over the book with you,” she suggested. “And if you want a jump-start meeting people, you should come to my house Friday night. I’m having a party.”

Jade grinned again, ears turning pink as he realized God had looked over. He was lucky and he knew it. There was always a relatively good chance of some girl hitting on him, but a party was unexpected. Very, very unexpected.  
Catrina picked up her book again as Erica blathered on, scribbling down her phone number and pressing it into his hand. She didn’t stop to breathe until the bell rang, when she finally stopped talking and sat down.

“So much for our book discussion,” Jade muttered to her. Catrina stifled a giggle.

“Erica’s kind of a ho,” Catrina whispered back as the physics teacher collected a worksheet.

Jade barely contained his shout of laughter. “Aren’t you her friend?”

Catrina shrugged. “She only came over here for you. I wasn’t invited to her party.”

Jade was surprised at Erica’s nerve. “Well, you are now,” he said firmly. “I’m going to escort you.”

“If you come with a date, you’ll never get invited back,” Catrina warned.

“The way you make it sound, I think I’d be better of that way,” Jade decided, which won Catrina’s smile.

“Okay,” Catrina decided. “I’ll go with you.”

 



 

Erica was in Jade’s lunch period. He’d just sat down and resigned himself to eating alone when she descended in a flurry of lip gloss and glitter.

“Jade!” she squealed happily. She was the sort of person he never would have spoken to, back in Berkeley- but here was different. Here he didn’t have the luxury of cynicism. She was pretty and she was dumb and she liked him- there was no reason for him to complain. Except, of course, that he didn’t like girls- but he wasn’t ready to go through that whole process again. Not so soon. “I had no idea you had seventh period lunch! This is so exciting!”

Jade forced a grin. Why wasn’t Catrina in his lunch period? Or Adam? He vowed silently to make one friend in each of his classes. He wanted options. He wanted to belong.

She’s better than eating alone, he told himself firmly.

“I’m so glad to have someone,” he gushed, smiling as sweetly as possible.

“You will just love my friends,” Erica promised, picking up his books and leading him to a crowded table. In spite of himself, Jade felt a flutter of nervousness in his gut, even as he bit back sarcastic criticism.

“This is Jade,” Erica announced and Jade’s heart stopped beating as he realized that there, among assorted giggling females, sat God. The girls chirped their names, but all Jade could hear was blood rushing through his head. Then God spoke and the world fell silent for the one precious word falling from his lips: “Davey”.

That was all Davey said to him, that day. The girls fawned over him and Jade made a point to be smart, witty, and offhanded. Davey produced a pair of headphones and looked around, clearly bored, and didn’t hear a word of Jade’s cleverness and brilliance.

Davey.

It was enough, that one word, to carry him through the remaining three periods of the day. One of them was an art class, and he spent that period chatting with the paint-splattered Ms. Keane. She talked him through the curriculum he’d missed and gave him a sketchbook. He made jokes. She smiled and laughed. “It’s good to have a student in eyeliner again,” she said confidentially. “Boys like you are always the most dedicated. Men who blow-dry their hair are moody and work sporadically, but men in eyeliner are content to listen and observe. They’re the most original of artists… all of mine graduated last year. It’s wonderful to have a new one.” Ms. Keane had paused, and then nudged Jade playfully, nodding her head towards one of her blonder students. “So what do you think of James over there? He’s cute, isn’t he?”

Not surprisingly, art was the best class he had.

Adam found Jade in the parking lot at the end of the day. “Hey, Jade!” he called, intercepting Jade just as he got to his rusting Dodge. “How was your first day?”

Thinking of Davey and smiling, Jade said honestly, “Nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be.” He paused, suddenly shy, and asked quietly, “Hey, do you think you could write down your phone number? We were a few decades behind Moore in U.S. History. I was hoping you could, you know, give me a synopsis of what I missed?”

It was a blatant lie. His class had been twenty years ahead of Mr. Moore, but it was easy to forget that when he looked into Adam’s never-ending grey eyes.

Adam looked pleased, and Jade felt that he had done well. “Sure, that’d be great,” he agreed, writing his number on Jade’s forearm. “I’m actually free this afternoon if you’re available.”

Jade’s face lit up and Adam blushed. “Seriously? That would absolutely make my week,” he gushed gratefully. “I just have to pick up my brothers. You wanna come?”  
Adam grinned. “Sounds a hell of a lot better than going home.”

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=3458>  



	2. The First Day

Adam usually went home alone. It wasn’t that he didn’t get invited places; it was that he hated all of his friends. He’d had the same friends since grade school and they’d long since grown out of each other, the only thing was, none of them had anything better to move on to. In places like Ukiah, you were friends with the kid you met in the sandbox till you died. He’d gotten there a few years after the sandbox age, admittedly, but he was still pretty much bonded for life.

That scared the shit out of him. He was lonelier than he’d ever admit and absolutely terrified.

His mother would usually attempt to detain him in the kitchen. “Adam, your father and I-” she would begin tiredly.

“Not now, mom,” he would say dully, trudging up the stairs. School exhausted him, it always did. And he’d stay shut up in his room, doing homework or drumming, until his father came home. Then, regardless of the time, he’d turn of the light, get into bed, and pretend fiercely that he didn’t exist.

Not today. Today there was an escape offered.

Adam knew he never would have talked to the new kid if he hadn’t looked so scared. If he hadn’t looked so achingly vulnerable when he first stepped into the classroom, Adam wouldn’t have reached out at all.

He was glad that he had. Jade was funny and clever and innocent, with a pleasantly boyish face and carefully trimmed hair. What Adam liked best, though, was that Jade was brave. He wasn’t especially tough or strong, the way Adam was, but where Adam had been taught to lay down and die, Jade had learned to stand up and fight. That was the best thing about him. Even when he didn’t have a chance, you knew just by looking at him that he’d fight anyway.

The other appealing thing about him was that he looked like he didn’t eat enough. Adam was drawn to anyone who seemed like they needed to be taken care of and Jade definitely fell into this category.

“Our house is kind of a mess,” Jade apologized, wincing as he opened his front door. “We’re moving with a six-year-old. It’s not a neat process,” he added as Gibson blew past them at top speed. Smith sulked behind him.

Adam felt strangely at ease, inexplicably comfortable with Jade. “I’m a seventeen-year-old boy,” he laughed. “I wish my house was like this.”

Jade gave Gibson a box of graham crackers, granted Smith permission to leave, and took Adam and a history book up to his room.

Jade’s room was a cave of boxes. The only unpacked things in his room were a bed and a guitar.

“Nice place,” chuckled Adam, following Jade’s lead in sprawling on the bed.

“I haven’t gotten to unpacking it yet. We just got here Saturday,” Jade said shyly. “People here are a lot nicer than I expected,” he added hesitantly.

“Like who?” snorted Adam. “Most people here are complete jackasses.”

“There’s you,” Jade protested. “You’re as nice as you are cute!”

Adam rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, “Thanks. If you wanted to call me a dick-”

Jade elbowed him. “Oh, stop it. I’ve got no reason to lie, have I? Anyway, you’re not the only one. There’s a girl in my chemistry class who was really nice to me.”

Adam groaned, secretly pleased with the dual compliments. “Was her name Erica, by any chance? Erica Murdock?”

Jade winced, laughing out loud. “No, but I met her too. She, uh, made me eat lunch with her and her sparkly fan base.”

“Tell me you don’t like her,” Adam begged.

“Well, she’s sort of a whore, isn’t she?” Jade asked. “I mean, she took one look at my phenomenal ass and offered to tutor me immediately…”

Adam joined Jade’s giggling. “Hey, why do you think I agreed to helping you?” he joked. He would never, ever admit- to anyone- how he felt when he looked at Jade. All he wanted, he told himself sternly, was a friend. If he was looking for a relationship, he would already have somebody. Somebody whose pronoun started with an s, not an h. He wasn’t interested in Jade- or any man- in that sort of way.

Jade flashed a quick grin, ears turning pink, which Adam noticed. This caused him to blush in turn.

The afternoon progressed that way- teasing shyly, turning red, and occasionally mentioning history. Adam could hear his heart beating in his ears.

It was almost like- well, almost like flirting.

Adam didn’t know how much time it took, but they had only just reached the sixties when Mrs. Puget came home. “My goodness, have you two been working this whole time?” she asked incredulously. “Now this is a side of my son I’ve never seen! You must have some incredible powers of persuasion,” she added to Adam. “I can’t believe Jadey’s actually sitting still.”

“This is my mom,” Jade interrupted her dryly.

“I’m Adam,” Adam said, offering a handshake and feeling genuinely happy for the first time in far too long.

“Well, Adam,” Mrs. Puget went on warmly, squeezing and releasing his hand, “I know my son’s a terrible host, so I put a pizza in the oven the moment I saw an unfamiliar car in the driveway. I hope you’re hungry- I’d hate to have to feed it all to Gibson.”

“I’m a dinosaur! Rawwwr!” a small voice came from downstairs. “A PIZZA-EATING dinosaur! How much longer?”

Mrs. Puget shook her head and laughed. Adam could tell how pleased she was that her son had found a friend so quickly. She tried to be discreet, but he noticed her quick scan for piercings, tattoos, and dyed hair. Her smile got even wider when she found none. Deeming him non-threatening enough to leave alone with her oldest, she excused herself to deal with the dinosaur ravaging the living room.

“I think I passed,” Adam chuckled to Jade once she’d left the room. Jade looked delighted.

“I like you, Adam,” he said softly. Adam’s stomach folded in on itself. “I- thank you for coming over. I… I was really worried that- that everyone would hate me…”

Adam couldn’t help himself. He placed his hand on Jade’s shoulder. “Why would anyone hate you?”

“I was worried that people would be… less accepting at a smaller school. I… I don’t know what I’d be thinking about tonight if you hadn’t talked to me…” Jade said slowly. Adam was one of the nicest people he’d met all day, not to mention the cutest. (God, of course, far surpassed the term ‘cute’.) But no matter how cute Adam was, he didn’t want to ruin what had the potential to be a good friendship with his secret.

“Hey, I’m here whenever you need me,” Adam said easily, smiling warmly. He liked Jade- more than he should. “I’m glad I met you.”

The words hung in the air as Jade’s eyes met Adam’s. Suddenly it was hard to breathe and Adam felt sweat bead on his palms. The feeling in his gut was not normal. The tightness in his jeans was not normal. Adam didn’t know how much longer he could go on pretending that nothing was happening when he could feel his whole world spinning off its axis-

Without any further warning, before either of them fully understood what was happening, Jade’s mouth was devouring his own. Adam pressed back into the kiss hungrily, parting Jade’s lips with his tongue, letting the other boy’s sweetness fill his mouth. In that moment, there was nothing he wanted more than everything. He slid his hand to cup the back of Jade’s head, guiding him even closer, and moaned into his mouth as Jade’s considerably braver hand slid up Adam’s thigh.

Breathless, they broke apart. Breathing hard, Jade met Adam’s eyes fearlessly, licking his bottom lip self-consciously.

“Shit,” Adam whispered. What he saw in Jade’s eyes sent chills down his spine. The thoughts in his own head terrified and disgusted him. There was something roaring in his ears and his stomach was in a knot. “Oh, shit.”

Nothing like this had happened to him in years. The one time it had, the one other time he’d suddenly found himself in a lip lock with his straight best friend, it had destroyed his life. He’d lost all his friends, been beaten mercilessly by first his peers and then his father, and when they’d moved he’d sword that it had been a mistake, that it would never happen again-

And it hadn’t. He hadn’t even had these disgusting faggot thoughts again until now.

Well, it wouldn’t happen again. He did _not_ like guys. He did not _kiss_ guys on their bedroom floor. He most certainly did _not_ want to sleep with Jade, and even if he _did_ , just thinking about it would _not_ make him this hard.

“Oh shit,” he whispered again weakly, squeezing his eyes shut. The world was spinning.

He opened his eyes again when he felt Jade’s warm hand on his face. “It’s okay,” Jade said softly, gently caressing Adam’s cheek. “That wasn’t a bad thing.”

“Y-yes, it was!” Adam yelped, stumbling away from Jade and to his feet. “Y-yes, that was,” he repeated numbly, tears burning in his eyes as he fumbled with his backpack. “I- I’m sorry,” he added miserably, voice breaking.

“Adam, wait!” Jade begged desperately as Adam ran down the stairs, trying furiously not to cry. “Adam… please…”

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=3458>  



	3. Worse

“Jade? Your pizza’s done,” Smith said cautiously, edging open the door to his older brother’s room and setting down a plate stacked with pizza.

“I’m not hungry,” Jade moaned. Smith peered around a tower of boxers. Closed into a corner and wrapped in a big black hoodie, Jade was hunched up in the shadows.

“Are you crying?” Smith asked, part scorn and part concern. “What happened?”

“A-Adam,” Jade whimpered, smearing his eyeliner and dripping tears across his face with his sleeve.

“And I thought you’d be crying because you didn’t make friends tonight,” Smith teased gently.”

“He- I- we kissed,” Jade sniffled.

“Do I know you?” Smith asked incredulously. “Jade the Playah Puget in tears because he was kissed by a cute boy? That doesn’t sound like my lovable slut of a brother. You haven’t changed your ways, have you?”

Jade giggled in spite of himself, wiping at another stray tear.

“He freaked out and left,” Jade explained, calmer now.

“Well, that’s his loss, isn’t it?” Smith asked disdainfully, a boastful air to his voice. “There’s got to be a handful of guys at your high school who deserve you twice as much as that idiot does.”

Jade grinned and ruffled his little brother’s carefully gelled hair.

“You’re ruining it!” Smith squealed in protest. “This is what I get for being nice to you?”

“Nice? You called me a slut!” Jade tossed back.

Their tones were accusatory, but they were both laughing. Jade focused on that and tried to push Adam out of his mind. This was what mattered in life, not some stupid guy. Laughing with his little brother and eating frozen pizza. And anyway- why should he worry about Adam? He must have been crazy to forget about God.

 



 

Adam, on the other hand, was having slightly more trouble getting over that evening’s incident.

Jade’s taste lingered on his lips and it was like his touch was burned into Adam’s skin. Worse, according to the clock in his car, it was 8:30. His father might already be home, and he’d be absolutely furious if he knew his son had been out later than he had.

The elation bubbling through his veins finally gave way to the dread sinking in his stomach when he pulled into the driveway behind his father’s rusting pick-up truck.

Their house was small and dingy; even after the sun went down you could tell that the siding was filthy and the grass was dead.

Killing the ignition, Adam mustered the courage to walk up the cracked and uneven pavement to his peeling front door. He prayed it would be unlocked. He’d lost his key months ago and usually came in through a window. With his father home, he couldn’t risk that. His irresponsibility would anger the man even more.

Adam realized he was holding his breath when the handle gave. Careful to shut the door quietly, silencing even the normally squeaky hinges, he had almost made it to the stairs- which led to the safety of his locked bedroom door- when a cold voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

“Seems to me that you should’ve been here five hours ago,” his father spat.

Everything inside him turned to ice as he slowly turned around. Though only taller by two inches, Leonard Carson was over twice the size of his son, two hundred pounds of fat and muscle and neck. He worked long hours at a junkyard, breaking down old cars into scrap metal and usable parts and shooting at trespassers. He expected to come home to a warm meal, a cold beer, and the television. Adam did not fit into the picture. When he wormed his way into his father schedule, it was never a good thing. Adam knew his father had once been a good man- violent, maybe, but good. Even now, he always felt genuine remorse after he’d hit Adam, and it’s not like he’d ever beat him up seriously enough for a hospital. He was careful, too- Adam always looked like he’d been in a fist fight, and no teacher had ever found cause to pry.

Leonard had had a much better life in San Diego, before they’d had to move. He’d owned his own store, selling car and motorcycle parts, building his own, doing extensive repairs, and detailed custom work for a fair price.

Even then, he hadn’t much cared for Adam, but back then the sight of his accidental heir hadn’t disgusted him nearly as much. Back home, there was the occasion he would smile, or bring Adam along on the back of his motorcycle, or bring home presents. For his sixteenth birthday, Adam probably would have gotten a bike of his own. Before they’d moved to Ukiah, Adam only remembered a handful occasions when his father had hit him. Before they’d moved to Ukiah, Adam remembered his mother laughing. They’d even been planning on having another baby, all those years ago.

It was Adam’s fault that things had had to change. And that made him so sick with guilt that it turned into rage.

“I was writing a paper at the library,” Adam lied, trying to keep his voice from shaking. His fists were clenched tight- he wanted to rip the grizzly man apart piece by piece. He’d never hated his father with as much passion as he did right then. His father had made sure that a night as wonderful as the one he’d just had would be a point of shame, that even a kiss that perfect had no right to exist.

Jade’s mother had never so much as spanked any of her sons, Adam knew for a fact. It was in the way the boy carried himself. Why did it have to be different for him?

“Don’t lie to me,” Adam’s father warned, eyes glinting fiercely.

“I- I’m not lying,” Adam stammered. He was so angry that he could barely see. It. Wasn’t. Fair. “Where’s mom?”

Adam gritted his teeth as his father sneered. He could smell the beer on his breath, and he knew what was coming.

“You little shit, running for mommy? She’s not going to help you this time. She’s not going to hear your goddamn sniveling. She mother doesn’t love you any more than I do, you little dickfuck,” his father taunted.

Good. That meant she was safe upstairs, out of the way of his father’s wrath. That mean that no matter what he said or did, even if he provoked his father so he could revel in the beating he knew he’d earned with that disgusting kiss, she’d be safe.

“You fucking dickhead!” exploded out of Adam’s mouth, catching them both off guard. While provoking Leonard made his anger come quicker, it usually also made it hurt worse. “Why do you do this to me? You’re a coward. Why the fuck else would you hit a helpless kid? Your kid, no less. Your fucking broken condom, that’s what I am! So what the hell are you trying to prove? That I’m not yours? That you’re a man? I know plenty of men, you sick fuck, and you will never be one of them. You’re nothing but a sick, scared bastard!”

Adam’s outburst ended abruptly when his father’s fist connected with his jaw, slamming his head back into the wall. “Don’t you talk to me that way!” Leonard grunted as Adam’s world dissolved into blinding white light. He felt blood matting on his chin and he hit the floor. Pain exploded in his ribs- his father’s foot. His chest, his face- the man had knelt down and was now using his fists. There was a sickening crunch, and something sticky edged into Adam’s mouth. He couldn’t think around the agony that was congealing on his face. His nose must have broken. Again. He writhed in agony, some twisted part of him relieved. Once his father had finished punishing him, he could be bruised and bloody and angry instead of so goddamned guilty.

When Leonard’s knee collapsed his stomach and he let out a low moan, vomiting down his chin, his father backed away, voice shaking with horror as he realized what he’d done. “You’re disgusting,” the man spat. “You disgusting little FUCK!” He screamed the last word. “Look what you made me do. Look at what you fucking made me DO!”

Pain ate away at every part of his body as Adam struggled to his feet, and somehow he found a sick smile sliding across his face, parting the thick stream of blood. This was good. This was right. He deserved this. He was a faggot and he deserved this. No- he deserved _worse_.

Worse was easy.

“I hate you,” he gasped, choking on the blood crawling down his throat. His hands roved blindly across the countertop. “I hate you!”

His fist closed around a glass, dirty and left next to the sink. It was perfect. Blinking stinging blood out of his eyes, Adam snarled, “I could beat you in a fair fight.”

Leonard turned around wearily. “Adam, I just want to watch the goddamn baseball game. Can’t you just clean yourself up and get the fuck in bed?” Remorse was already taking the place of rage.

Adam swallowed a thick mat of clotted blood and clenched his fists. “This is not my fault!” he yelled, and threw the glass as hard as he could at his father.

Before either of them could react to its horrible shattering on the wall just left of Leonard’s head, the slightly panicked voice of Adam’s mother called down the stairs, “Leonard, I you up here- there’s something wrong with- with the television. Would you come up here, please?”

Adam wished she hadn’t drawn his father’s wrath away. He wanted to feel the anger, wanted his father to tear him apart, wanted to break and bleed and suffer.

It was no less than he had earned.

Instead, he slumped to the kitchen floor and cried.

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=3458>  



	4. Clash of the Gods

By the time Jade woke up the next morning, he was feeling better about the whole situation. After his shower, he straightened his hair and put on his favorite Blondie t-shirt. He was determined that it would be a good day.

The dropping-off of Gibson and Smith went smoothly that morning, and he arrived to school on time and located his locker without incident. As he strode fearlessly to history, he decided that he was going to make another new friend that day.

When Adam did not appear to be in history, Jade’s spirits soared. They were only dampened by the inevitability of lunch with Erica, but once he remembered his date with Catrina and caught a glance of God in chemistry, his mood skyrocketed once again.

Before Erica managed to lasso him in the cafeteria once again, a wide-eyed kid with spiky blond hair intercepted Jade. “You’re the kid from Berkeley, right?” confirmed the blond. “I think you’d better sit with me.”

Once they were situated at a deserted table in the corner, the blond confided, “My name is Hunter. We need to talk about your involvement with Catrina Noveau.”

Jade raised his eyebrows. “Nice to meet you, too. I’m Jade.”

Hunter dismissed the introduction with a flick of his hand. “What is your interest in Catrina?”

“I- um- are you her boyfriend or something?” Jade stammered, unnerved by Hunter’s huge blue eyes, which were trained unwaveringly on him.

“Just her very dedicated stalker,” replied Hunter, flashing the sort of smile that made it impossible to tell if he was kidding or not.

“Well, um, I’m new here. I’m just trying to make friends,” Jade said carefully, trying not to be obvious as he scoped out the nearest escape paths.

“I have been informed by a very reliable source that you have a date with her on Friday,” Hunter countered boldly.

Jade laughed in spite of himself. “What? No, we’re just friends. Really,” he added as Hunter eyed him  
skeptically.

Hunter sighed. “Because you may as well know, she’s a great catch. She’s funny and beautiful and smart and-”

“Do you _want_ me to date her?” Jade giggled.

Hunter snapped out of his reverie. “No,” he said miserably, “ _I_ want to date her.”

“So why don’t you?”

Hunter looked annoyed. “She doesn’t know me… well… at all, really.”

“Have you asked her?”

Hunter was no squirming in discomfort. “Well, not exactly,” he admitted grudgingly. “I’m sort of… um…”

“You’re too shy!” Jade announced triumphantly. “You’re afraid of her!”

Hunter hung his head. “She’s perfect,” he moaned. “I just- I’m scared. I don’t want to ruin it.”

“What is there to ruin?” Jade asked gently.

Hunter looked stricken, mouth hung open limply as he searched for an answer. He was saved, however, from this daunting task when a cold voice cut in from behind Jade, “There you are.” Jade looked back over his shoulder and stopped breathing when he saw the pale face and raven hair of God.

For one glorious moment, Jade allowed himself to believe that God was actually speaking to him. Stupidly, he had nearly answered when Hunter looked up and said back, just as nastily, “Where did you think I’d gone? It’s hard to go out for lunch when some jackass in the parking lot crumpled the front end of your car. Not that _you’d_ know anything about _that_ , Marchand.”

“Interrogating a predator?” God shot back condescendingly. It slowly became apparent to Jade that he had only come to make fun of Hunter.

 _His name is Davey_ , Jade scolded himself. _Davey._

“Believe it or not, there are some straight guys in this school,” Hunter snapped. “Just because your harem spans about half the male population doesn’t mean that there aren’t a few real men in Ukiah.”

Jade’s heart stopped beating and his mouth fell open. Dumbly, he gaped at God. Davey. Whatever his name was. Unless there was something terribly wrong with his hearing, he could swear that Hunter had just called Davey- well, gay.

Davey made a face. “There’s plenty of real men here, Hunter, and no one knows it better than me.” He paused for a moment before adding cruelly, “Maybe I’ll date her anyway. Maybe I’ll fuck the slut once or twice. With your sweet little ass in mind, of course,” he reassured the reddening Hunter, a malicious glint in his eyes.

“Don’t you dare talk about her like that,” Hunter whispered furiously, red and shaking.

“Why not? Isn’t that what _you_ want her for? Listen, if you want a bitch to fuck, maybe you should come back to our table before Erica gives up on you. Not that I’d miss you, of course- I’m just concerned about your manhood. Wouldn’t want you turning into a sister on me,” Davey spat.

“I hope you get AIDS,” Hunter mumbled, staring hard at the lunch table.

“What’s so wrong with Erica, anyway? Just because she’s easy, you think you’re better than her? Slut’s a slut, far as I’m concerned. Why, now that I think of it, wasn’t it your beloved Catrina who Ian knocked-” Davey was building up steam now and Jade felt his fists clenching. He was going to be sick. No one deserved to be spoken to that way, especially somehow as haphazardly innocent as Hunter.

Hunter looked like he was going to tear out Davey’s throat, or maybe cry. “Stop it,” Jade said quietly.

Davey noticed him for the first time. “Who’s this asshole?” he snarled, looking repulsed by Jade’s very existence.

“I’m Jade,” Jade announced more boldly. Blood was rushing in his ears and he felt big, invincible. Suddenly he stood up, voice loud. Catrina had been nothing but nice to him, just like Hunter. Neither of them deserved this. “Why don’t you shut the fuck up?”

“Ooh, someone’s feisty,” Davey spat, raising his eyebrows and grinning viciously. Heads began turning all around the cafeteria. “Listen, new kid. Believe it or not, you’re fucking with the wrong guy.” He stepped forward and leaned his face in close. “I know I don’t look like much, but I’m more than you can handle. A word of advice: shitfucks like you don’t fucking tell me what to do.”

No willing to step back but frightened by the hate in the other boy’s deep brown eyes, Jade wavered.

“You think you’re better than me?” Davey growled.

Something curdled in Jade’s stomach at the scathingly familiar tone. He knew that back at Berkeley, where he’d had the luxury of friends and a reputation, he’d been just as bad, if not worse, than this bullying wannabe badass. Sure, maybe he’d seen more than this kid, maybe he’d had more knives pulled on him, maybe he’d fucked both more men and women- but that didn’t change the sudden realization that God was nothing more than a mirror of what he’d used to be. He’d burned through boys like Davey and spat them out broken and sore for sport, given the best blowjobs in the school, and picked his share of fights- he’d been an up-talking, cruel, pompous, backseat slut. And he’d done it for fun. Just. Like. This. Fucker.

And that quickly, it wasn’t about Davey or Hunter or Catrina anymore. It was about him. Not thinking, only feeling, Jade let out an angry half-scream and swung his fist, hard, into Davey’s mouth.

Stunned, Davey staggered backwards. Dully, Jade registered the distant scream of some faceless girl. He felt a hand on his shoulder and vague but agitated gibberish that he slowly registered to be Hunter.

Mesmerized, Davey touched a hand to his lip, which was split and bleeding. Jade looked down at his hand, flecked with both his and the other boy’s blood where Davey’s teeth had cut his knuckles.

It would be a lie to say being a faggot in a big city hadn’t taught him how to fight. But he’d never, ever meant to bring that here. Ukiah had been a second chance—  
Jade stepped back as Davey’s eyes went from the blood on his fingers to Jade’s chocolate stare. Jade wondered distractedly if the others could feel the electricity buzzing in the intensity of their fierce eye contact.

Davey shattered the moment when he flashed a depraved grin, wiping some of the pouring blood off his face with the back of his hand. “I like you, new kid. But I told you, you can’t handle me.” Still staring directly into Jade’s eyes, he licked blood off of his bottom lick seductively. “This isn’t over,” he finished, voice smooth and low and very… well, hot.

In spite of everything, Jade’s heart skipped a beat and his eyes followed Davey’s lithe form as he pushed through the gathered crowd of spectators with something quite separate from disgust.

“You really didn’t have to do that, man,” Hunter said appreciatively. Barely hearing him, Jade pushed Hunter’s congratulating hand off his shoulder and, as if in a daze, allowed his hypnotized stare to drag him after Davey’s receding denim-hugged ass out of the cafeteria, across the hall, and into the men’s bathroom.

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=3458>  



	5. Slut

Adam woke to the loudest noise he’d ever heard.

It was coming from inside his head.

He hurt like he’d never hurt before. He wanted to scream but when he opened his mouth, it felt like his jaw was breaking. All he managed was a weak moan.

His mother heard his pathetic sound and stuck her head into his bedroom. “Adam, sweetheart?” she said softly.

Her whisper felt like a grown man was jumping up and down on his face. Adam didn’t remember coming upstairs. Had she carried him? How could she have possibly lifted him? “How’d I get up here?” he croaked. Fire poured down his throat.

“Your father couldn’t leave you on the kitchen floor,” she said brightly, lovingly, as she straightened her name tag. “Look, Adam, I’ve got to get to work now. I called you in sick at school and left clean sheets by the foot of your bed- these are all bloody. Try to get up and change them sometime today, if you can. You might want to- um- clean up a bit, too. You’re an absolute mess. If you can make it downstairs, there’s leftovers from dinner in the fridge… Can you sit up?”

Adam managed a weak gagging sound and his mother frowned.

“Well, you get lots of rest so you’re well enough to go to school before the end of the week. …Your laying around here in bed and missing school only makes your father more upset.”

She kissed his forehead and turned to leave. “What did you say?” Adam croaked.

“He feels bad about this, Adam. I wish you wouldn’t antagonize him like that, you know his job is stressful-”  
“He _feels_ bad? Is that supposed to _mean_ something to me?” Adam hissed.

His mother turned around and whispered harshly, “Yes, Adam, it’s your fault. You picked that fight and you made him do this. Your father is a good man- why won’t you accept that? Do you have to make him out as some kind of villain to justify your behavior?”

“He’s the one trying to justify his behavior,” Adam snarled. “Look at you, you’re just as brainwashed as everyone else. I can’t believe you buy into his lies-”  
Mrs. Carson didn’t let Adam finish his sentence. She stormed out of his room and then the house, leaving him to cry his angry tears in solitude.

 



 

“I didn’t sleep with him, if that’s what you all think,” Jade whispered furiously into his empty room, tears pouring openly down his face. “I- that’s what he wanted, but I- I said no. I said I didn’t even know him…” He dragged a shaking hand first across his split lip and then across the gash on his forehead, which had thankfully stopped bleeding. He didn’t want to drive to the hospital to get stitches, though he knew he probably needed them. He’d come to his senses, been about to leave, when Davey had kissed him- fierce, demanding, pressed up against the bathroom wall- had persuaded him to do a certain other service for the smirking dark-haired God. Or, perhaps, Satan. Because when Jade had finished-

A fresh wave of tears hit. He’d never felt so dirty or used. He’d been no different from Davey not long ago, and the thought made his skin crawl. Now it was like he was one of his own flings, scorned and broken and ashamed by the boy he’d found so beautiful. Had his boys felt this way? To him they’d only ever been another notch in his bedpost, an accomplishment of all things- never before had he realized that they were real people. And now he was choking on their tears, streaming from his own eyes.

He remembered how they’d all looked at him, reaching for his head and expecting, at the very least, a kiss. A boyfriend. An arm around their shoulders. He’d looked at Davey the same adoring, hopeful way, hadn’t he?

“Not bad, new kid,” Davey had said smugly, zipping his jeans as Jade got to his feet.

Hopefully, _stupidly_ , he had placed a hand on Davey’s arm.

The next thing he knew, Davey had hit him in the mouth, sent him spinning away, where he fell back and cut his head on, of all undignified things, a urinal.

“When you’re ready for the rest of me, let me know,” Davey had snarled. “You touch me again before then, and I’ll do a hell of a lot worse than hit you.”

“Davey,” Jade had begged helplessly as God turned to leave, “Please.”

“If you wanted me to treat you like an equal… you shouldn’t have been so eager to get on your knees,” Davey spat before swaggering away, letting the door slam behind him.

Jade had fought the tears. He’d waited, tenderly wiping the cut on his forehead with wet paper towels, for the period to end. Once he was certain the hall would be empty and Davey long gone, he fled for the parking lot. No one goes undetected in a public high school after a scene like that, however, and the people he passes just stared. A few even had the nerve to laugh at him, and Jade was too shattered to defend himself.

He’d fallen into a trap he may as well have set, had set many times before. No only was he belittled and humiliated- he was disgusted with himself.

A harsh knock on his door jolted Jade out of his self-pity.

“Jade Errol Puget!” his mother yelled. Jade lifted up his head.

“What?” he croaked weakly.

“Are you aware that it was eight o’clock and _completely_ dark outside before I got to Gibson’s school? He was waiting outside, _sobbing_ with fear, for _five hours_ because _you_ couldn’t be bothered to pick him up!”

Something sank deep in Jade’s stomach. He stood up slowly, crossed the room, and gingerly leaned his forehead against the door.

“I’m really sorry,” he said quietly. That was the one thing that could have made this day worse: making Gibson cry.

He was the most horrible person alive.

“I can only _hope_ that Smith’s out somewhere skating,” his mother said disgustedly. “He wasn’t at school- his teacher said he left with all the other kids. And now you’re school’s calling me, saying you got in a fight and cut classes- Jade, this is absolutely unacceptable! I’ve never been so mad at you! I thought- I hoped-” and her voice cracked- “that things would be different here. Once we got you away from those city kids, from your father-”

“Mom, I-”

“No!” she cried fiercely, cutting off her son’s tearful, wavering interruption. “Don’t- don’t twist this one, Jade. I know what you can do with words. I’ve- I’ve never been so angry with you in my life.”

Jade felt his heart crumble as tears came fresh. “I’m- I’m sorry,” he whispered dumbly through the door.

“You will come home directly after picking up your brothers tomorrow. You will be alone. You will do your homework, unpack your room, and go to bed. You will do the same thing on Thursday. If and only if your room is fully in order by Friday, I will allow you to go out. Do I make myself clear?” His mother’s voice was shaking. She hated to punish him. It made her feel like his father.

“I- I _am_ sorry,” Jade said meekly. “I deserve a lot worse than two days of grounding.”

He heard his mother sigh, and then she finally opened the door. He took his forehead off it just in time to stay upright.

His mother looked from the eyeliners tracks down his face to the cuts on his lip and forehead and pulled her eldest into a much-needed hug.

“I’m a monster,” he sobbed, bursting into tears the second her arms were around him. “I deserve to suffer. I- I thought that I was more important than Gibson, I _forgot_ about him because I was so wrapped up in myself-”

“Jade,” his mother soothed.

“I’m a bastard, I’m a sick twisted fuck, I must have- I must have wanted to hurt him, I- I didn’t mean to, I’m so bad, I’m so bad, you should- you should-” Jade choked, until his tears got so thick that he couldn’t gasp and rattle them out anymore.

“You can’t believe that, Jade,” his mother whispered, rubbing his back and fighting her own tears. “That’s- that’s your father speaking. That’s everything he taught you. He- he made you think that, he made us both think like that, but it’s not true. It’s wrong. You have to stop thinking that way. Promise me,” she added even more quietly, voice shaking, “promise me you’ll teach yourself that you’re worth something. You’re so much better than he made you think… so much better than you feel. We- we all are… Promise me, Jade. You have to promise me that you know that, that you won’t ever forget again.”

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=3458>  



	6. Friday...

Adam’s bruises were finally calmed down enough for school by Friday. As an added perk, by then he could stand up without his nose bleeding. He was almost relieved that he hadn’t had to face Jade- it was almost worth it all, to be allowed to hide from the disaster that had been Monday night.

Jaw tender, stomach mottled purple, black eye and broken nose, Adam was feeling good when he got to school Friday morning. His face was a badge of honor. No one would ask questions and on one would treat him with anything but respect, at least till the bruises faded. He’d taken on his father- there was no longer anything Jade could do that would make him feel a thing. He’d gotten this thing out of his system, and it was over, now he was free.

At least, that’s what he thought.

He got to history early, avoiding his clump of ‘friends’ in the hallway. They were idiots who cared even less than they knew. For a few precious moments, he was alone in Mr. Moore’s room, appreciating just how much he liked being at school. School was safe. Here, he could be whatever he wanted to be, and no matter how late he was, the worst he’d get was a detention.

He’d barely begun to smile, however, when Erica ricocheted into the room. He wondered distractedly if she ever moved at anything below top speed.

“Adam!” she greeted him exuberantly as he stifled a groan. “You look awful. Are you okay? Are you sure you’re okay? That must have been some fight. I’m so glad you’re back; we were all worried about you.”

He nodded politely. Only a few words in that sentence had been distinguishable to him; Erica managed to get most of her thoughts out in one breath and his head was still buzzing and cloudy. His mother said the headache was probably just a result of prolonged blood loss. Adam could tell, however, that her tone was kind, and knew that there must be something that she wanted from him. Erica was never strictly friendly- she always had a personal motive.

“Listen,” she went on, “I’m having a party tonight, just a few close friends. I’d love it if you came.”

Adam raised his eyebrows. Erica hadn’t invited him to a party since he’d turned her down for Winter Formal freshman year. She’d never quite forgiven him for embarrassing her. …His bruises weren’t that impressive, were they?

“Sounds great,” he said carefully, trying to uncover her angle. There had to be a reason behind her sudden change of heart. Their mutual hatred had been nearly three years in the making, after all.

She had now settled in at the desk in front of him and was sitting backwards. Her voice lowered (and, Adam noted thankfully, slowed) to a conspiring whisper, she said, “You know the new kid, right? Jade? You’re kind of ‘friends’ with him, right?”

“Vaguely,” Adam admitted guardedly, annoyed by her air-quotes and hoping she didn’t notice the heat creeping up his face. “Why?”

Erica glanced around. A handful of others had made their way into the classroom, but they weren’t paying any attention to their whispered conference. “Well,” Erica said, “stay away from him. He’s not the kind of guy you went to spend too much time around.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” Adam asked dryly. Gossip. That was her interest in him. Spreading gossip.

Erica placed her lips next to his ear and breathed, “He’s a fag.”

Adam froze up. He knew wasn’t straight- but how had she found out? If rumors started- if his father found out- they’d have to move again-

Savoring every word, Erica hissed delightedly, “And a _complete_ tool: he fucked Davey Marchand in the bathroom during his lunch period on Tuesday.”

Adam’s stomach fell out. “W-what?” he mouthed, words barely squeaking out. She could not have just said-  
Erica nodded delightedly. “I thought you deserved to know. I saw you two talking after school Monday and I’d hate to see you get caught up with the wrong people.”  
Adam had gone numb. “Will he be at your party?” he asked hollowly.

Erica wrinkled her nose. “Well, I invited him, but I certainly hope he knows better than to show up,” she said nastily, as if she didn’t dismiss the very same behavior from Davey unquestioningly. Smiling brightly again, she bounced back to her own desk just as the bell rang.

Adam’s ears were ringing when Jade stumbled in, only seconds late.

“Mr. Puget!” Moore crowed as Jade slumped into his seat. “Think you’re better than the rest of us? Think the classroom rules don’t apply to you?”

Dully, Jade replied, “Does it matter how I answer, sir?”

Mr. Moore considered it for a moment before declaring, “No; no, I don’t believe it does. Detention, Mr. Puget, next time you’re late to my class. Tardiness will get you nowhere in life and you’d do well to learn that now.”

Everyone in the class seemed smug that Jade, their newest leper, had been reprimanded. Adam thought privately that Jade had gotten off lightly- Moore usually was much crueler to his students, and it was obvious he’d taken a liking to the boy.

When Adam finally worked up the courage to look over at Jade, the other boy was staring at the top of his desk blankly. He looked utterly defeated, and lip was split and his mouth looked a little bruised.

Adam took a deep breath and tore a sheet of paper out of his notebook. He was being stupid; his father was going to find out and everything would fall apart-

Trying to keep his hand from shaking, Adam wrote slowly, _Have I missed much in history?_

He waited till Moore’s lecture got into full swing before he shoved the paper over to Jade’s desk. Jade stared at it for a moment before recognition sparked across his face. He looked stunned, for a moment, and then turned slowly and looked at Adam.

His eyes were empty, all life gone. They were soulful and sad and- dead. Adam ha never seen anything as heartbreaking as Jade’s eyes at that moment. The only depth they had was his own reflection.

 _You’re bruised as hell,_ Jade wrote back.

 _This is just what you can see,_ Adam wrote, hoping the words seemed light and wry. In case they didn’t, he added, _You don’t look so good yourself. You okay?_

Jade crumpled up the page violently, eyes shining with- were those tears?

“Fuck you,” Jade mumbled, putting his head down on his desk. He didn’t look up again.

 



 

Jade slunk into chemistry, head down. He’d spent this class period in the nurse’s office for the last two days. This time, she’d smiled and sent him back to class.  
He slumped into his seat and willed himself to drop dead. He had, Jade felt, just about begun to approach the brink of possibly nearing the first hints of success when a familiar voice snapped him out of his reverie.

“I’ve missed you the last two days,” Catrina said gently. “I was beginning to think you were trying to get out of our date tonight.”

Jade stared at her blankly. “You’re speaking to me,” he stated quietly, disbelief evident in his voice. “Haven’t you heard? It’s grossly unfashionable.”

Catrina exhaled heavily before taking Jade’s hand in both of her own. “Look,” she sighed, “It doesn’t matter to me, Jade. I knew you were gay and I don’t care who you sleep with. I- last year, there were some pretty cruel rumors about me after I got pregnant. Suddenly I was the hottest topic in school. I don’t know how many lies I heard about myself… the thing is, it doesn’t matter to me unless it matters to you. It’s only a problem if you let it become one… I wish I’d had somewhere there for me to tell me that, Jade, but everyone turned on me when I needed them most. I figure that the least I could do is not let the same thing happen to you.”

“It’s not true,” Jade said softly, looking at his feet. “What they’re saying. I didn’t- I didn’t sleep with him.”

Catrina squeezed his hand. “See? You’ve got no reason to be miserable. Just hold your head high and know that it’s not true. Listen to me, Jade. If you want to be better than them, you have to believe it.”

Believe it. Did he believe anything anymore?

Their conversation was cut short by Davey’s entrance. His lip wasn’t even puffy anymore and, it appeared as he laughed and walked to his seat alongside Erica, he had no memory of Jade whatsoever.

Jade heard his heart pounding loudly in his ears. “I hate him,” he growled to Catrina quietly. “I hate him so much.”

Catrina squeezed his hand once more before facing forward as the lesson began. “The sooner you get over him,” she promised, “the sooner everyone else will.”

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=3458>  



	7. ...I'm In Love

Adam spent all of English working up the courage to confront Davey. (This was crazy, this was stupid- his father was going to find out.) He and Davey had always gotten along on decent terms; they generally avoided each other. (Why wasn’t this like every other time? Why couldn’t he just let it go?) They’d been good friends for a few weeks before Davey had been cruel to someone who had never been anything but nice, and they’d been nothing more than distantly pleasant to each other since then. Adam was painfully aware of Davey’s reputation, but he had to know the truth. Jade had made him feel something he hadn’t known he could feel.

Adam took a deep, shuddering breath and made up his mind that, if there was any way humanly possible, he was going to see Jade’s smile again. He was done cowering, done hiding from what he was. Maybe Jade had fucked Davey and maybe he hadn’t- it didn’t matter. Adam owed him everything either way, and it would make things easier if Jade wasn’t perfect. He decided then and there that he would see Jade that night, and he would tell Jade all of this. And then he would go home, pack his things, and tell his father exactly where he’d been.

Exhaling slowly, Adam next decided that if he was for real, if he was really going to do this, then Davey was the best place to start. He waited for the bell to ring before he cornered the other boy.

“Marchand!” he called, a few feet behind Davey in the hall.

Davey turned around and a grin broke out across his face. “Carson! Long time, buddy!”

Davey relaxed, leaning back against a locker. It wasn’t comfortable, but Davey knew it looked good.

“Yeah,” Adam replied, smiling. He was almost a foot taller than Davey and twice as broad. Dave was a featherweight and Adam was willing to bet that no matter how hard the other boy hit him, it’d be nothing compared to what he was used to. Adam’s smile stretched to a grin as he realized that no matter what direction this conversation took, he had nothing to fear from Davey. “Yeah, I was wondering,” he said coolly. “You fuck Puget?”

Davey looked only slightly taken aback. Adam knew he was guarding his facial expression closely, not wanting Adam to know he was suddenly uncomfortable. He shifted against the lockers and answered lamely, “Puget? I don’t know the name.”

“We both know _that_ doesn’t mean shit,” Adam laughed harshly. “The new kid. His name’s Jade.”  
Davey’s face registered recognition. “Oh, that one,” he said, flashing a weak grin and attempting to sound cocky. He shifted uncomfortably again. The halls were emptying and he seemed to have realized just how unmatched he was against Adam. “Um, why? He a friend of yours?”

“You could say that,” Adam said, glaring down at Davey who had suddenly realized that his vulnerable position up against the lockers was not the most ideal of locations.

“I, um, I like to keep my sexual endeavors kind of, you know, _private_ ,” Davey lied uneasily, scoping out his exits discreetly. Adam was strategically positioned directly in front of him.

“No you fucking _don’t_ ,” Adam growled, realizing how _good_ it would feel to punch Davey in the stuttering face. He was a liar and a slut and he’d done _something_ to Jade- there was his new attitude, for one thing, and then that _bruise_ \- Adam heard something racing in his ears. “Answer the fucking question, Marchand.”

“Wh-whoa,” Davey said weakly, backing up until he was flat against the locker. “Don’t- don’t mess with me, Carson, I’ll fuck you up,” he added disbelievingly. He could handle himself, Davey, but not against someone built like Adam. Davey’d known, loosely, that the other boy spent a lot of his free time behind a drum kit, but he’d never before realized the quiet strength that such a hobby entailed. All he had left was talking big- they both knew that if it came down to it, he’d have his ass handed to him.

Adam laughed and the sound chilled Davey to the bone. He’d never known Adam to be like this. He was usually calm and easy-going. Something had clearly pushed him over the edge. “Hey, lighten up, Dave. We’re just talking.”

Davey swallowed hard. Adam’s comforting remark was little more than a threat. “Look, Adam,” he said slowly, not meeting Adam’s eyes, “your- um- your friend Jade- he…”

“You used him, didn’t you?” Adam demanded, suddenly feeling sick. What was he going to do if it was _true_?

“What do you want me to say, Carson?” Davey begged.

“Did you sleep with him? That’s all I want to know,” Adam repeated.

Davey was suddenly relieved. If that was all he wanted to know… “No, I didn’t fuck him. We messed around, that’s all.”

“You used him?” Adam asked again, deadly seriously.  
Davey knew better than to lie. If he was ever going to be honest, now was the time. “Yes,” he admitted, feeling sick. “Yes, I used him. I manipulated him and then I tossed him aside.”

Davey closed his eyes, expecting Adam’s wrath. For that one flickering instant, he truly believed that he deserved it for the way he’d treated the new kid. What was his name? Jake? No, Jade. His name was _Jade_ , and Davey swore to himself that he’d never forget it.

When he dared to open his eyes again, Adam was gone.

 



 

Jade sat with Hunter during lunch. Hunter didn’t care what the rumors were, especially not when Jade scribbled down Catrina’s address, the address of the party, and instructed Hunter to pick her up at six. “She’s expecting me,” Jade admitted, “but I can’t make it tonight. Bring her a rose and tell her that I am deeply sorry and have sent my best friend- that’s you- to escort her to the party in my absence.”

Hunter looked stunned. “ _I can’t do that!_ ” he hissed. “I cannot just _show up_ at Catrina Noveau’s house and-”

Jade put his hand on Hunter’s shoulder and looked into his eyes. “Hunt? You _have_ to.”

Now Jade was in art class, angrily pressing the world ‘slut’ into the pages of his sketchbook with a stick of charcoal. When he snapped his fourth charcoal stick and swore loudly, Ms. Keane came over to the table he alone occupied and sat down across from him.

She gently pulled the sketchbook away. Jade’s angry glare didn’t flicker from the broken piece of charcoal in his hand. Patiently, Ms. Keane flipped through page after page of ‘slut’ in thick, dark letters. She didn’t pause until she reached a page that featured a brief sketch. It was a face, a vaguely familiar one, with shading across the jaw that probably implied bruising.

“He someone I’d know?” Ms. Keane asked softly.

Aware of her presence for the first time, Jade started and looked up. “Oh- that,” Jade mumbled, blushing. He didn’t see the point in lying to Ms. Keane, who probably had known he was gay from the first moment he walked into her classroom, so he added awkwardly, “He’s just… just this kid. I- um- I can’t get my mind off him. I thought drawing him might- um- help.”

“Did it?” pressed Ms. Keane, finally recognizing the student on Jade’s page from a painting class she’d taught two years ago. If she recalled correctly, he’d been a miserable artist but a genuinely kind kid. His paintings had always attempted to tackle more emotion than he had the talent to paint, but he had tried his hardest even as he knew he wasn’t very good. She doubted he was ‘slut’.

Jade looked at her curiously. “No. It’s only made me focus on him more.”

She nodded knowingly. “It’s never worked for me, either. Your sketch shows good perspective- we might want to work on your depth, but the shading here is remarkable. I’m surprised you’re only taking one period of art, if this is any indication of the quality of your work.”

Jade was easily taken in by her heartfelt flattery. He let a small smile light up his face. “I do have a free period- maybe I could spend it in here instead of study hall?”

Ms. Keane looked at him sternly. “I can’t have you disrupting my classes just because I like you,” she warned. “That means you’ll have to abuse the charcoal more quietly, no swearing afterwards, or else stay after school when you feel like taking advantage of your freedoms of speech and destruction of art supplies,” she added, grin escaping.

Jade felt something lift inside him. “Really? Thank you so much, Ms. Keane-”

She held up her hand. “I won’t have you thanking me. I haven’t done a thing.” She flipped to a clean page and slid the sketchbook back across the table. “Now that you’ve practiced your spelling, maybe you’re willing to give Mr. Carson another try?”

Jade swallowed hard, blushing purple. As she got up to help another student, she patted his shoulder and added, “You take that any way you want.”

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=3458>  



	8. Happily Ever After

Adam went home at the end of the day to shower and pack. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do when he got to Jade’s house. He just knew that he had to go there. He had to tell Jade- well, he hadn’t worked out the details just yet. But he was going to Jade’s house as soon as he was clean, and he was determined that there was _something_ he had to say. He just wasn’t sure what yet.

Adam pulled on a cleanish pair of jeans and an unwrinkled Billy Joel t-shirt. It was black with blue lettering and he’d bought it purely because he knew it flattered his broad chest. He hated Billy Joel, but anything that made his biceps that impressive was worth the sacrifice. Besides, it always made him smile and laugh at his own ridiculous, which he figured was, in moderation, healthy.

He shook out his wet hair and combed his fingers through it. He hesitated in front of the mirror for a moment, appraising the bruise situation. His eye was almost completely normal again, just a small swollen cut beneath it, and the brunt of the damage spanned his ribs and abs anyway. He looked, he decided, acceptable. Which was probably the best he could hope for. He stopped by his room to grab his wallet and keys out of his dirtier jeans and stopped dead when he saw Jade sitting on his bed.

All thoughts immediately left Adam. The door swung shut behind him and he just stood there, stunned, gaping at Jade.

Jade blushed. “Um, hey,” he mumbled, examining his chipping nail polish intently. “Your mom said I could wait up here.”

Adam’s face flushed red. “Oh, um, good. I, uh, was gonna go over to your house after my shower. I, um, wanted to talk to you…”

Jade perked up and beamed at Adam. “Really? I was sort of worried that you hated me,” he said brightly. Then his voice sank as he added worriedly, “Unless that’s what you wanted to talk to me about.”

“No! No,” Adam assured him, meeting his eyes nervously. “I- no, I don’t hate. I’ve got no reason to- hey, what happened to your forehead? Davey didn’t do that, did he?” he interrupted himself, noticing the nasty-looking cut for the first time.

Jade turned purple and self-consciously tried, for the nth time, to flatten his bangs over it. They didn’t quite reach. “I, um, hit my head on a, uh, urinal, if you must know. It admittedly might not have happened if Davey hadn’t, ah, hit me, but-”

“He hit you?! That fucker! He _did_ that to you and I just let him go-!” Adam half-yelled, half-moaned, rushing to Jade’s side to anxiously examine the cut that Jade was still trying desperately to hide.

Jade’s lungs deflated as a direct result of Adam’s face, a mere four vertical inches above his own, and his fresh, clean smell.

Adam had also realized how awkwardly close they were, and backed off enough to sit down as far away from Jade as possible. The thoughts churning through his mind made him flush bright red.

“You talked to D-Davey about it?” Jade stammered, once he’d started breathing a gain.

Adam shrugged. “I know how he is. I figured that if I wanted something other than rumors, I’d have to go directly to their source and scare the truth out of him.”

Jade didn’t know if this made him relieved or nauseated. “Um,” he mumbled thickly, bright red, “what did he say?”

“He tried to lay, at first,” Adam said nonchalantly. It was endearing how _shy_ Jade was. “Then he seemed to realize exactly how much… um… _slighter_ he is than me and stammered out some rendition of what I imagine is the truth.”

Jade cringed and looked away. Nauseated. It was definitely nauseated. “You think I’m a slut, don’t you? You think I’m just like Erica,” he moaned.

Adam laughed quietly and laid his hand on Jade’s thin arm. “Who am I to judge you? I don’t even _know_ you. I do, however, know Davey… they’ll stop talking about you within the week, when he finds someone else who’s disoriented and vulnerable, or when Erica hears about your friends Hunter and Catrina- and I got over it about five hours ago.”

Jade had turned his wide eyes hopefully to Adam.

“There’s stupider things you could have done,” Adam added, ears turning pink in disbelief at the words coming out of his mouth, “like running away from the cutest guy you’ve ever met because he’s done exactly what you wanted him to.”

“I- you- really?” Jade stammered, bright red.

Adam nodded shyly. “I didn’t mean to- my father- I just didn’t think it could possibly end well. But then… I couldn’t stop thinking about you… you were stuck in my head and you were the only thing that made it hurt less…” Adam trailed off helplessly.

“I never expected to get another chance. Not at you. I thought Davey was what I wanted- I told myself that you meant nothing… but I never made myself believe it. I… I was so eager to prove that you didn’t matter to me that I lost my own meaning,” Jade tried to explain. Blushing, he added, “I don’t have the words…”

Adam took Jade’s hand and brushed his lips across it. “Let’s get out of here, okay? Erica wanted me to come to her party and I… I want to make her regret it.”  
Jade tipped his head to one side, knowing how cute he was when he did that. “What are you planning, Mr. Carson?”

“Let’s go,” Adam said simply, tugging Jade to his feet and grinning. “This won’t take long.”

Jade giggled and laced his fingers through Adam’s, wishing he could hide in this neat Adam-smelling room forever but letting himself be dragged away nonetheless.

 



 

Catrina stopped dead halfway down the stairs. She’d curled her hair and put on a new scoop-necked sweater. She knew she looked pretty- yellow was a good color for her- but she wasn’t dressed for a date, she was dressed to go out with her gay friend.

So when she saw, instead of Jade’s bright grin, the blond spiky hair and red rose and Billy Idol t-shirt that could only mean one thing, she froze.

Hunter Burgan was in her house.

His mega-watt smile faltered when he saw the look of horror on Catrina’s face. She looked beautiful, as always- he was suddenly overwhelmed with the stupidity of his presence. What was he doing here? Why was she looking at him like that? He straightened his blazer nervously. It was the outfit, wasn’t it. He’d thought he looked decent- he probably just looked stupid. Who wore blazers with t-shirts? He probably looked like he was trying too hard to be cool. She wouldn’t know that he was dressing for a part, that he had Jade had spent half the lunch period discussing this outfit- she would just think he was some jackass trying to get laid. That’s exactly what she’d think.

His heart was sinking and his palms sweating as he tried to remember the ‘charmingly formal’ lines he and Jade had practiced. They’d hoped to woo Catrina with a bit of well-mannered humor, but suddenly he didn’t think the clever idea would work. “Um, hi. I’m Hunter, Hunter Burgan. I have been-”

“I know who you are,” Catrina squeaked. Why was he here? He didn’t even know she was _alive_. Every time she tried to make eye contact with him, he would look away, clearly angry. Every now and then she’d catch him staring at her- disgust covering his face the second she met his eyes. He’d never so much as _smiled_ at her- if he knew she existed, he hated her. That was why her being madly in love with him was such a serious problem.

And now here he was. In her house. With a flower.

She wanted to die.

Hunter, slightly empowered by the fact that Catrina Noveau had just spoken to him, decided that it was too late to save face. He was here- he might as well get the humiliating rejection over with. “Miss Noveau, I have been sent by my good friend Jade Puget. He sends his deepest apologies and best regards, and has offered myself as an escort in his place. He is unable to accompany you because he is off taking your advice to heart.”

He exhaled heavily, wincing. What had Jade been thinking? What had _he_ been thinking? This was stupid. She was going to laugh at him.

Catrina couldn’t breathe. She was going to kill Jade. This had to be a joke, a sick, twisted, _joke_ -

“I know I don’t quite measure up to what you were expecting, in neither looks nor wit,” Hunter added, ad-libbing by this point (they hadn’t expected he’d needed to prepare for rejection) and wholly mortified by the way she was just _staring_ at him- stupid, he was so _stupid_ to come here, she _hated_ him- “but won’t you please come down? Turn me down if you will, but don’t send me away with the rose. Accept at least that small token, and I can leave here with _some_ dignity.”

Catrina didn’t have the words to tell him how wrong he was. Instead, taking painstaking care not to stumble, she eased herself down the stairs.

Hunter was transfixed. She was so elegant and _perfect_ ; he must have been crazy to think she’d accept him as a stand-in… he was going to _kill_ Jade.

Catrina finally stepped into the foyer, still gaping stupidly at Hunter. Why had he agreed to this? Jade must have _begged_. stupid Jade. Why couldn’t he have just stood her up like a _normal_ guy?

“Milady,” Hunter said humbly, holding out the rose and bowing his head. There was an easy, joking smile on his face, but he was still worried she might miss the humor and just think he was weird.

Dumbly, Catrina took the rose.

Hunter ducked his head and turned to go, cringing as he muttered, “Right then, have a nice evening.”

Finally finding the presence of mind to _do_ something, Catrina caught his arm. “Wait!” she begged, hoping she didn’t sound as pathetic, lovesick, and desperate as she felt. “Wait,” she repeated, voice dropping to an awestruck whisper as he turned his electric blue eyes on her hopefully. “My evening won’t be nice at all,” she whispered dazedly, blushing harder with every word, “if I let you leave without me.”

Hunter’s silly grin lit up his whole face. Had Catrina Noveau just- was he- she was _touching_ him-

“Just, um, let me stick this in some water, and change my clothes, and I’ll-” she stumbled awkwardly.

“Oh no, don’t do that!” Hunter said immediately. “You look beautiful, don’t change! You look…” Suddenly his mouth seemed much drier than it ought to be. “…you look stunning in yellow,” he finished, flushing bright red.

Catrina mumbled some manner of embarrassed thanks and disappeared into what Hunter assumed was the kitchen with her rose.

There was no way on earth that this could possibly be happening to her. She could not possibly be this lucky.

Waiting anxiously in the foyer, Hunter was thinking the exact same thing.

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=3458>  



	9. Gatecrashing

Erica’s giggle died in the air. “Omigod,” she whispered to her nearest friend, sounding scandalized even though the gossip this would surely start would keep her delighted for weeks. “Look who just walked in.”

Jade looked terrified, lingering at the door as Adam walked purposefully across the room. Erica managed to head him off. “Adam!” she gushed. “I’m so glad you came. I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you’d show. But, um, listen, you didn’t come with Jade, right? Not after that talk we had?” she had lowered her voice by this point, like what she was saying wasn’t perfectly obvious to the entire room.

“Don’t worry,” Adam said pleasantly, “we won’t be staying.” Erica put a hand on his shoulder and attempted to speak, but he pushed past her before her words left her mouth.

He found Davey in a corner, making out with a boy from what was presumably another East Bay school. Adam had never seen him before in his life. “Marchand,” he said, loud but friendly. “Hey, Dave!”

Davey wasn’t even slightly annoyed by the interruption, clearly assuming there was a deeper reason for Adam’s continued pursuit of him, and the boy he’d peeled his mouth off of was too busy staring adoringly at Davey to so much as glare at Adam. That is, until Davey looked Adam up and down, bared his teeth, and murmured appreciatively, “Great _shirt_ , Carson. You look _good_.”

Adam laughed, even though his esophagus was tying itself in knots. “I know,” he agreed, grinning. “Hey, does your boyfriend mind if I steal you for a minute?”

“Who, Caleb? Oh, he’s nothing special,” Davey assured Adam, eyes traveling the length of his body luxuriously. “He doesn’t mind.”

Caleb opened his mouth to say something, probably in his defense, but Davey had linked his arm through Adam’s and was leading him towards the patio door. There were fewer people out in the backyard, and most of them were wrapped around each other anyway. On the way out, Davey noticed Jade was there for the first time and eyed him maliciously. Adam nearly screamed when Davey squeezed his arm possessively, clearly intending for Jade to see. This kid was so slimy, so despicable, that his skin almost burned from touching him. He wanted to snap Davey’s thin little neck.

When they got outside, screen door shut behind them, Adam immediately pulled his arm away. “You lied to me,” he said calmly, hoping that his voice didn’t sound as strained to Davey as it did to him.

What little color had bee in Davey’s cheeks flooded away. “I- when?” he asked uneasily. This was not what he had expected to happen, that much was obvious.

“You didn’t tell me that you hit him,” Adam went on. “You said that you just messed around. You didn’t mention making him bleed.”

“I don’t recall making him bleed,” Davey replied nervously.

“Really? There’s quite the gash on his forehead. You should be proud. It looks like the sort of thing you might remember,” Adam pressed.

Davey was made braver by the fact that they weren’t alone this time. “I never intended to remember him, Carson,” Davey sneered. “Does that _surprise_ you?”

Before Adam could respond, the patio door slid open and Jade stepped out. “Adam,” he said softly, “you shouldn’t do this. Not for me.”

Davey looked at Jade appraisingly. If he was confused by the sudden union of Jade and Adam, he didn’t show it. “You back for more already?” he taunted.

“Why not?” Adam asked Jade quietly, eyes never leaving Davey.

“Because I used to be just like him,” Jade whispered. “Back in Berkeley- I used people the same way he used me. I… I deserved to be humiliated the way I’ve humiliated so many others. You- I just want you to know- you’re not… not one of them, Adam. You’re… different.”

“ _You_?” scoffed Davey. “Like _me_? Don’t flatter yourself, new kid. I don’t think you understand the way I operate. There’s no way you could ever have as much fun as I do.”

Jade smiled. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart,” he said nastily, voice flowing easily over the familiar cocky cadence. “And we both know you know my name is Jade. You won’t be forgetting my name or my lips for a _long_ time.”

Davey looked put off for a moment. “You stupid slut,” he finally muttered.

“Jade,” Adam said almost shyly, not meeting his eyes, “if you’re the same as Davey, and if I’m so different, then why bother with me? What the hell are you trying to accomplish with me?”

Jade’s face flushed. “I- something changed, when I left my dad. My- my mom said he made us think we were worth nothing, and that’s why I was able to act how I did… I placed no value on myself, then. I could do anything I wanted, no matter how sleazy or low, because I thought that… that I didn’t matter. If I didn’t matter, then what I did certainly didn’t matter either…” He raised his eyes to Adam’s and went on in a small voice, “Now things are different. Somewhere along the way, something changed… I’m not the same person that I was, anymore. I changed. And now… now you’re the only thing that matters. You don’t have to do this for me because I’ve already forgiven Davey. You… you’re it, Adam. He doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t think… that he ever really did. I think that it was always about you.”

Davey, disgruntled by Jade’s dismissive-ness towards him, cooed sarcastically, “Isn’t that touching.”

“So you’re not like him,” Adam said softly, looking hard into Jade’s eyes. “You’re not like him and you never were. It’s not- it wasn’t all about you, was it? It was always… about them, too?” When Jade nodded slowly, Adam went on, “That makes you different from him. He’s only looking for his own pleasure. You… you just listened to your father. The only reason I ran away from you that day is because I’ve made the same mistake…”

Hate boiled within Adam. What kind of _monster_ had his father made him? He’d made Adam hate himself for who and what he was. That was wrong. He knew that now.

Davey was making a face off to the side. When Adam turned to him, he said cruelly, eyes bright, “Hoping that if you talk nice to the slut he’ll suck you off, too? You’re wrong. He likes it more when it _hurts_. He likes it _rough_.”

Jade flinched from Davey’s caustic words, feeling very much like he was going to cry.

“You don’t know shit,” spat Adam, letting him clenched fist swing into Davey’s gut. As fluid as the motion looked, his blow packed more force than was probably necessary. The couples in the yard, who had previously just been sneaking glances, now openly stared. So did Jade.

“Fuck,” gasped Davey, doubled over and clutching his gut. “Fuck you, Carson.”

Straightening painfully, Davey swung at Adam, but Adam caught his fist. Davey hadn’t taken the time to aim.  
Adam barely felt it, arm hardly tremoring from the lacking force. Davey did not pack the same sort of blow that Adam’s father did. This didn’t slow his retaliation, however; Adam’s fist connected next squarely with the center of Davey’s face.

Davey reeled back, a slug of blood dragging from his nose down his lip almost instantly. Breathing heavily, Adam dropped his arms to his side and felt his anger subside, draining away and leaving him… empty.

“What the fuck, Carson,” Davey moaned, stumbling backwards, his vision blurred and his balance shot.

He spat out blood and it dribbled down his chin. He was going to have one hell of a headache in the morning.

“Leave Jade the hell alone,” Adam growled, stepping back from the damage he’d done. “Just stay away from him. If I hear you so much as _look_ at him again…” He trailed off, letting the threat hang in the air.

“What kind of overprotective faggot _are_ you, Carson?” Davey leered, still not dropping his arrogant manner. He refused to show Jade his fear.

“This is the last time I _ever_ want to hit you, Marchand,” Adam warned wearily, and slammed his fist into Davey’s jaw so hard Davey was knocked flat.

Shaking out his now-sore knuckles, Adam was still smiling grimly when, shrieking at the top of her lungs, Erica ran out of the house, threatening to call the police if they didn’t leave immediately. Jade informed her smugly, “I wouldn’t have stayed, anyway. This is nothing compared to a Berkeley party.” It wasn’t true- the only thing that made Erica’s different from a Berkeley party was that there weren’t any drugs- but he wasn’t about to let her know that.

As soon as they were in the safety of Adam’s car, Jade started laughing. “I don’t think _any_ of those people are going to speak to us again.”

Adam flashed him a quick smile. “Hunter just might.”

“He was there?” Jade asked brightly. “I didn’t see him.”

“Oh, he wasn’t there,” Adam grinned. Jade had told him, in great detail, about his brilliant matchmaking skills. “I think that his date went much too well for that. Your friend Catrina hasn’t stopped staring at him since before I moved here.”

Jade looked pleased. “I knew that if he just _talked_ to her…” he trailed off, suddenly looking sad. “Adam?” he asked quietly. “Why did you- why did you do that for me? To Davey, I mean?”

Adam stared straight ahead, focusing hard on the road to avoid Jade’s eyes. “You… you never should have… I shouldn’t have had to,” he mumbled. “No one… no one should ever have hurt you. You aren’t… you’re not the kind of person who… you’re so much better than…”

Jade cocked his head to one side, heat rising in his cheeks. “You were protecting me,” he said shyly. “Weren’t you? That’s what you were doing. You were taking care of me.” When Adam didn’t say anything, Jade went on, “Davey was terrified, too. I… where did you learn how to hit like that?”

Adam’s mouth pressed into a thin, hard line. “I learned from the best,” he said bitterly. “I know all about how to hurt people.”

Jade winced. He knew better than to press Adam any further, not with that tone of voice. Instead, he laid his hand on Adam’s arm. “Well, I just wanted to- I- thank you,” he finished simply. He added softly, “No one’s every done anything like that before. I’ve- I’ve never known anyone like you. I meant what I said… I’ve never felt-” he stopped before he had the opportunity to seriously embarrass himself.

“I’ve never _let_ myself feel this way before,” Adam said cautiously, feeling bad for shutting Jade out. “Well- once. That was a long time ago, though.” He laughed bitterly, humor having nothing to do with the jarring sound, and went on, “We moved right after that, the last time I kissed a guy. God, my dad was angry. He beat the shit out of-” Adam stopped, turning bright red and cursing himself for being so stupid. How could he have let something like that slip? What was he trying to _do_ here?

To his great surprise and relief, Jade admitted softly, “Yeah. My mom moved us out here to Ukiah to get away from my old man. Once I got old enough to- he fucked up Smith one day when no one else was home. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Smiffy relax since that day- he still flinches every time someone moves towards him. And when I found him there, my little brother, bleeding and crying- God, I don’t remember how long it took for him to _smile_ again…” Jade paused to take a shuddering breath and went on, “I went after him, after that. I just- I lost it. I guess I thought that if I… if I made him hate me enough, he’d never touch Smith again. I guess I thought that I could actually _hurt_ him…” He laughed, sharp and hard, the same way Adam had. “My dad was built like a brick wall. I don’t think I could’ve hurt him with a sledgehammer. I ended up in the hospital with two cracked ribs… I was eleven. I thought I was dying.” He smiled tightly, looking like he was in pain still. “I _pretended_ I was dying. I told all the nurses I had brain cancer so they’d let me stay longer. I didn’t… I didn’t want to go come. …I told my mom that I fell down the stairs. Smith told her some kid at school beat him up… I don’t think we ever fooled her, though. A couple months later, when she had Gibson, my dad calmed down, stopped drinking, cleaned up. I think she said he’d leave if he didn’t. He didn’t lay a hand on any of us for almost four years- he started talking, though. The things he said hurt worse than his fists ever did. And of course he got worse- he started again, but me and Smith were older now, thought we were tough. We were quiet about it. Figured that as long as he left Gibson and our mom alone, we were doing the best we could… I tried to be a hero, though. I tried to distract him from Smith. I antagonized him, picked fights, tried to get his aggression out on me and me alone…” Jade’s voice cracked and he finished shakily, “I’ve always thought that I’m thought that I’m tougher than I am. He threw me down the stairs once- I… I didn’t even realize my arm was broken, I thought it just hurt- and then I tried to hit him back, and all of a sudden my bone was tearing through my skin. …I never knew anything could hurt so bad. I made up some half-assed lie, but my mom knew. She’d always known. As soon as my cast came off, she moved us out of Berkeley and away from him. We stayed with some aunts of mine for a while, spent almost a year floating around through different cramped apartments in the city, before we came here to start fresh. I decided that I was going to change. Here, no one knew I was a gay slut. Here, no one knew what my dad did to me. here, I didn’t have a reputation… I didn’t have to be anything I didn’t want to be. I wanted Ukiah to be… different.”

They reached Adam’s house just as Jade finished. “And that’s my life story,” Jade whispered hoarsely, looking out the window so Adam didn’t see the tears in his eyes. He hadn’t meant to say all that.

Adam bent himself over the gearshift and wrapped his arms around Jade from behind. He pressed his lips against the other boy’s neck for a moment and then said softly, “That’s why I had to hit Davey. Because I knew… I knew that you needed to be protected. I didn’t know what for or who from, but I knew that you needed it. I knew that you’d fight, even when it was hopeless; and that’s why you needed someone to protect you. So you wouldn’t get hurt.” He blushed, wishing he had something better to say. Words had never been what he was good at.

Jade turned in his seat, taking Adam’s jaw gently but firmly and pulling his lips to his own. Jade pressed their mouths together tenderly, and his eyes were glittering when he pulled back.

“Thank you,” he breathed. “I wish I knew how to-”

Adam silenced Jade with another, more persistent kiss, parting the other boy’s lips with his tongue, heart racing and mouth filling with Jade’s smooth flavor.

This was why he was alive.

Jade pushed back hungrily. How had he gotten here? He never thought he’d have another chance with Adam, with _anyone_ worth having, and now here he was, in-

Adam bit Jade’s lower lip gently before placing a line of small, whispering kisses down the boy’s neck. _Heaven_.

Jade moaned softly as Adam’s kisses grew rougher, his teeth grazing Jade’s collarbone. Jade, who had worked his hands understand Adam’s t-shirt, raked his nails across the other boy’s back, well-defined shoulder blades sliding beneath his callused fingertips.

Nothing had ever felt so right in his life.

Adam moved up Jade’s throat, catching his lips again. Jade kissed him like the world was going to end and for all Adam cared, it could- he’d never been so happy and if he could have this moment forever, nothing else mattered-

Both boys froze when headlights suddenly illuminated the front seat of Adam’s beat-up old car.

They weren’t alone anymore.

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=3458>  



	10. At the End of All Fears

Something inside of Adam died when he saw his father’s rusting Toyota pick-up pull into the driveway, and something new and vividly terrible grew up in its place.

“You fucking faggot!” Leonard screamed, throwing himself out of his truck. He had a window-scraper in his hands and he took it to Adam’s car, beating his door and windshield. “Get the fuck out here, Adam!”

His father’s hate no longer scared Adam. The essential, fearful part of him had gone. “Run,” he said to Jade, whose eyes had grown wide and terrified when the windshield began to crack. He was seeing not Leonard but his own father, reliving some horrible painful memory. “Get the hell away from here, Jade.”

Adam made to open his door, but Jade caught his arm. “He’s going to kill you, Adam,” he whispered, all but paralyzed with his terrible fear.

“He wouldn’t dare,” Adam growled. He wasn’t going to be weak anymore, no matter what the consequences. He wasn’t going to end up frozen in fear like Jade. He was going to eliminate that right now. He was going to free himself from Jade’s nightmare. Then he’d come back and save Jade.

Adam threw his door open as the windshield began to splinter, with all his force behind it, the door groaned and then hit his father directly in the torso. Air knocked from his lungs, he staggered backwards, lowering his weapon for one shocked instant.

That was all Adam needed. He threw himself at Leonard, shoulders catching him in the stomach. Adam’s velocity propelled them back, where Leonard hit the garage door and they both fell back onto the ground.

Adam scrabbled to his feet as his father flailed out with the scraper. “Don’t you remember what happened last time, you disgusting faggot?” Leonard screamed wildly. “No son- of mine- is an abomination!” he punctuated each phrase with a vicious swing of the scraper. Adam barely managed to dodge them, one catching the edge of his forehead, which immediately started pouring blood.

“THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!” Adam screamed back, lunging at his father again, ignoring the white-hot spasm of pain flashing through his head.

Leonard was prepared this time and threw Adam off him easily. Adam flew through the air, landing on the hood of his car and shattering his windshield. Luckily, Jade had moved to the backseat.

A few lights began to flick on in nearby houses as neighbors began to wonder at the noise.

Leonard yelled, “I thought I told you never to touch a man again. You won’t forget again!” He threw aside the scraper to beat Adam with his fists. As usual, his first hit was into his son’s gut. Adam tried to swing at him, but the blood from his forehead had begun to drip into his eyes. He only landed one punch, into Leonard’s ribs, before his father’s meaty fist caught him in the throat. The jagged glass where his windshield had been cut deep into the back of Adam’s neck and he was coughing hard, blood bubbling up from his throat. He dragged his hand across his eyes, clearing his vision only marginally, and somehow found the strength to launch himself off the hood and at his father, knocking them both to the ground. He jabbed his elbow into Leonard’s gut and his fist into his eye socket. “I hate you!” Adam roared, cut off when his father’s hands closed around his neck. Leonard rolled so that he was above his son, grip tightening as he stared into the boy’s fierce blue eyes.

The outside light flicked on Mrs. Carson stepped outside, looking horrified. Adam was choking, clawing viciously at his father’s face.

“Stop it!” yelped Jade, leaping out of the car. He couldn’t take it any more. Tears were streaming down his face as he bellowed, “Leave him the hell alone!”

Adam’s fingers found Leonard’s eyes and, howling in fury, his father released his neck, slick with blood, and staggered away from him.

The blood from Adam’s forehead had almost entirely blinded him and the back of his shirt was soaked with blood. Still choking on blood, he rasped to Jade, “No. Stay away.”

The fearless part of Adam had gone. He could barely breathe, his throat thick with blood, all parts of his body aching. His ribs felt broken and he could feel glass embedded in his neck. He was suddenly terrified that his father would attack Jade next. He’d hurt his father more than ever before, but he was in no state to protect Jade. He wasn’t even sure he’d wake up the next morning; he’d never hurt so bad. Jade had to stay away.

That was the last thing Jade intended to do. Seconds later, he was at Adam’s side, futilely wiping at the blood bubbling on his lips and trying to wipe the sheen of red off his face.

Adam began coughing violently again and his father, who had recovered enough to retrieve the scraper, was advancing. His mother, safe on the porch, was beginning Leonard to put the makeshift weapon down and gawking neighbors had begun to gather on their front lawns.

“You get away from him,” Leonard warning Jade. “Get your queer hands off my son.”

Adam’s eyes had fluttered shut and his breathing was weak. Jade tenderly turned him onto his side, hoping it would keep him from choking on his blood.

“Did you hear me? Get away from him!” Leonard screamed.

“Leonard,” Mrs. Carson called weakly. “Please! You can’t hurt him. He’s not your son!”

Jade got to his feet. He was shaking, but he couldn’t forget what Adam had done for him less than an hour ago. He had never hurt his father nearly as badly as Adam had just hurt Leonard. And because of it, he was still enslaved by fear.

 _I deserve better,_ , he thought for the first time in his life.

Jade was living in the nightmare he’d had every night for the last five months. The man in front of him was different and the body behind him was neither his baby brother nor dead- but none of that mattered. This was _real_. This would end the fear.

Slowly, Jade walked until he was in front of Adam’s unconscious form, facing Leonard, fists clenched. “Not until you leave him the fuck alone,” Jade spat.

Leonard swung the window scraper at Jade’s head. He was getting tired, slowing down- Adam had done some serious damage, and he was beginning to feel it. His left eye was already swelling and he was staggering. Jade ducked the swing easily.

“Leonard!” Mrs. Carson screamed. “LEAVE THAT BOY ALONE!”

Leonard stepped closer to Jade, trying to be menacing. Jade wasn’t so afraid anymore, though. This was real. Besides, Leonard wasn’t as tall as his father: they stood eye to eye. “I’ll kill you if I ever see you on my property again,” he breathed.

Jade brought his knee up hard, smashing it into the older man’s groin.

Apparently his son was a fair fighter and above cheap shots. The attack took Leonard by surprise. Groaning and dropping his weapon, he staggered back. “You fucker!” he gasped. “You fucking dead little fag!”

Leonard straightened and in a desperate attempt swung again, with the full force of his body behind it. Jade dodged this hit, knowing that if he hadn’t it would have knocked him to the ground and Leonard would have leapt upon him, reeking of sweat and blood and fury as his own father always had-

Jade felt something swell up in him. His father. It wasn’t fear, not anymore- it was anger. “YOU ARE _NEVER_ GOING TO HURT ME AGAIN!” Jade bellowed, balling up his scrawny fist and slamming it into his father’s jaw.

It was only after, when Leonard stumbled back, dazed, that Jade exhaled and realized that this was not his, but Adam’s, father he had hit. He also realized that it didn’t matter- he wasn’t going to be afraid of either of them ever again.

He didn’t even tremor when Leonard lunged forward at him. Before he’d so much as laid a hand on Jade, he was bathed in red light. Then blue light. Then red again…  
Jade dimly registered that there were two police cars at the end of Adam’s driveway and tried to see the scene from there eyes. An all-but-totaled car, door bent in half; an unconscious body coated heavily in blood; a skinny teenage boy and an enormous man; a tired looking woman on the porch, begging her husband to stop. A window-scraper tinged in blood.

The sirens weren’t on, but the entire neighborhood had been bathed in their grisly light.

Adam’s father had frozen dead when the lights had hit him. “Look what you made me do!” he whispered furiously at Adam’s unconscious form. “Look at the trouble you’ve made for us!”

“Step away from the young man, sir,” a young cop yelled, emerging from his vehicle with his gun ready, using his car door as a shield. “Put your hands over your head and drop any weapons.” Noticing Adam’s body, the officer called back quietly, “Pete, better get the paramedics over here. This looks more serious than the caller made it out to be.”

As soon as there was a gun aimed at Mr. Carson’s skull, Jade had dropped back to Adam’s side. From what he could see by the flickering porch light and police cars, blood was still trickling from the boy’s mouth and his neck was beginning to darken with bruises beneath its matting coat of blood. The cut on his forehead had slowed to a thick but small oozing slug, and his face was crusted with dried blood. His neck was still bleeding thick and hard.

Jade didn’t lift Adam’s shirt to see the damage done to his chest and stomach. Judging by the tears, there were a good deal of cuts on his back, and probably severe bruising covering his torso. Instead, he cradled Adam’s limp head in his arms. He stayed that way, holding Adam’s bloody head in his lap and tears pouring freely down his cheeks, till the paramedics arrived. Mrs. Carson chose to follow her husband to the police station, where they’d lock him up until his court date. Since there were no other family members present, they let Jade come in the ambulance.

He held Adam’s hand the whole way.

**xendx**  


  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=3458>  



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